What you see is not the problem. It is a misplaced attempt to solve the problem.

If your child is struggling in school, s/he is lazy or disinterested. If you or someone you love has an eating problem, s/he has a lack of willpower or limited self control. These are not the problem(s). Maladaptive, harmful behaviours are an attempt to solve a problem. So if you want to help your child succeed in school or kick your own habit of overeating you need to ask ‘what is the actual problem that this behaviour is attempting to solve’? The core issue is never the one that sits on the surface.

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