Why the failure mindset is so strong

Not reaching our goals and remaining in equilibrium is preferred over facing the pain of our perceived failure. We are afraid that given the opportunity, we default to our ‘true selves’. Our ‘true selves’ being the combination of every criticism we carry from a life of being emotionally beaten down. This, of course, is not reality, but we perpetuate the pain so effectively that it may as well be real. ‘You fucking idiot, you fat loser, you’re disgusting, you’re a failure’. Sound familiar?

When you make mistakes about your character, you are carrying the torch for every person who has beaten you up (emotionally) along your path. Our disconnection from who we could be if we let all that shit go is the greatest tragedy of human existence. The vast majority of us can never escape this internal pain. We prefer small, daily cuts of the razor blade than ripping off the well-adhered band-aid. We avoid the more acute pain that ultimately releases us from self-imposed (but not self-created) constraints.

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